I’m okay. I’m genuinely okay for the first time since I was 13 working through teenage angst that developed into depression and anxiety. I’m starting this blog so that I can tell anyone who reads it that it is fine to not be happy in the moment but if you work towards it and you really want it - you will eventually reach this point. There will be bumps in the road no matter what and they will feel like you’re treading through mud uphill. But you’ll look back on whatever it is you’re trying so hard to fight through and realize that shit was cake. I would try to find another metaphor, but I really want to get to the point here. With my first two posts, I got a lot of positive feedback and a lot of my friends didn’t know I’d had it so “rough.” But I don’t really see it as that, I know that living life brings on baggage. I have so many friends, both male and female, that were physically, emotionally, or sexually abused at some point. I have come into contact with so many people who started out stories saying “oh when my parents got divorced...”
We all go through pain, heart break, and anguish. I’m not going to define myself by my pain, I will define myself by how I overcame it. And I implore you to do the same because we are not our scars, we are who we have built ourselves to become. I am not a melting pot of mental illnesses, I am someone who has shown enough tenacity to function in our society while battling them every day. I am not a lost daughter because she watched the foundations of her family crumble twice, I am a girl surrounded by people who love her and they fight fairly often because of that love. I am not a victim of abuse, I am a fucking survivor. So move forward in life knowing that you are a soldier battling the world aiming to win, and I promise that you will. Sometimes we lose small battles, but I know you’ll win the war. |
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February 2020
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