Honestly, I don’t know everything. But I do know that I feel this way fairly regularly where I genuinely think that I’m alone when I’m not. I’ve been the girl guys are ashamed of dating, so if it’s a couple months down the line and they’re questioned about it they quickly change the subject and make out with the girl right next to them to prove I’m not the one who was able to tie them down. I’m the girl that is put down gently about being invited to parties - and by gently I mean that they tell me it’s cancelled then post a shit ton of drunk selfies with their ride or dies. These are all things that have been happening to me since I was in high school and even continued through college.
Even though I’m in a relationship with someone who wears his heart on his sleeve and will happily explain that he’s mine to anyone - I still have moments where I think I’m the girl that’s meant to stay hidden. I’m not going to sit here and call myself an unappreciated wallflower who has never had her chance to show people what she’s capable of. That’s bullshit. I’ve done my best to prove to anyone who has considered themselves my friends that I’ll fight for them until the end. And when you’re crying at 2 am because even your dog has chosen someone else over you (she’s learned to prefer javi, it’s fine - I’m not bitter), remember to fact check. Because I know that there are countless people in your life that have tried their damndest to prove that you’re worth more. I have so many amazing friends and family, some of who aren’t in Orlando, but they work to make sure that I know my worth while I do the same for them. I’m not going to act like I’m just another girl who has been emotionally trampled by the inconsiderate assholes that surround me. I’ve got a hell of a support system, and I’m sure that you do too. You’ve just gotta wake up and see it. |
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February 2020
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