I’ve decided to make some distance between myself and social media, I plan to continue posting here because it’s actually very therapeutic for me as it serves as a healthy outlet in comparison to other things. There’s a lot of reasons surrounding why I’ve chosen this route and the main one is the toxicity that flows through Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. Over the years I’ve noticed that people use it just for the sake of causing pain in one another. Posting certain photos with the purpose of hurting other’s feelings. When a friend unfollows you it can cause this pit to form in your stomach forcing you to wonder “what the fuck did I do wrong?” And unfortunately the value placed in social media within my generation, it’s just the way that things are. Your social status is determined by where you go, what you do, and who you’re with as long as you take a picture. I tried looking at it from so many different angles - such as a game or a form of self expression. But in the end, these things are still what helped me find value in myself. I’d constantly check after posting a photo to see if it was good enough for a minimum of however many people liked or viewed it or make sure that certain people I didn’t want seeing my stories were keeping off. I know that these are all due to my own faults and lack of self esteem, it’s not at all facebook’s responsibility to make sure I give a shit about my growth. But for now, I’m going to take a step back, take pictures for memories instead of posts, and enjoying the life I’ve got going for me. It’s beautiful, chaotic, and something I’m building with the help of those who love me. I don’t need to prove to the world that I’m happy in my relationship, I love my friends, or that my dog is literally the only good thing that this god has created. These are all facts that I know in my heart are true. I’m going to be learning along the way how much more I need to value myself without the pressures of social media surrounding that path. Being completely honest, I’ll probably go back to it because it’s so difficult to keep up with friends and family without this amazing tool - I just need to choose myself first. I stopped doing that for a really long time. If you end up missing my stories I’m probably ranting about how awful the general human population can be, talking to my dog like she can understand me, or drinking tea that my boyfriend made me because my stomach is hurting.
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AboutHere is where I am going to compile a collection of thoughts and poetry, please read with care. Archives
February 2020
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