After months of convincing my boyfriend (it wasn’t so much convincing, it was more warning because I was gonna do this regardless), I finally got a new addition to our little family here in Apopka. That’s right, I am a proud guinea pig mom. I felt the need to announce this because even though he really didn’t want one due to the financial and emotional investment another critter in our family would require, he saw how happy it made me to be holding this little bean in my arms. He was upset for the first two hours, we’d gone to the pet store to get Peach a new toy so she didn’t resent us for leaving her to go get dinner and then you can assume the following chain of events. I looked at him, worried and asked if he was still mad at me. He told me, “No, I’m frustrated but I told you I will do whatever I can to make you happy - if that means a guinea pig, then it means a guinea pig.”
My partner spoils me, not with material items but with love. I wouldn’t trade him for anything or anyone on this Earth because I have never felt in my life what it’s like to have reciprocated unconditional love from a significant other. What I’ve learned over the years is that humans are generally opportunistic creatures; if you lend one a hand, you can’t be surprised if they take your whole arm with it. Before I say this, it doesn’t apply to every case; this isn’t every single person, it’s just what I’ve noticed from being in two very abusive romantic relationships early on in my life. I want you to understand that some people can’t help the way that they are. If they are abusive, they often aren’t aware of the fact that what they are doing is so wrong and deeply traumatizing. If they are manipulators, they don’t realize that they are using you the way that they are. It’s just how their brains are wired or it is their version of “normal.” When another person inflicts such pain onto you, you will at some point ask yourself, “Why me?” I am not excusing the kind of treatment that these types of people use. I am putting it into a different perspective because learning this helped me to come to terms with why what I was put through had happened. Now, I am doing my best to move forward from my trauma. I look for comfort in those that I love, such as my family or my animals. But don’t worry, I am putting the breaks on and I am not going to buy anymore animals. I feel like three is the perfect number. I encourage everyone to look for comfort in their friends, family, and whatever it is that you are passionate about. I don’t necessarily recommend animals if you aren’t prepared for the responsibility, but I’m used to finding love in them because animals love you unconditionally. But if it is art, go to a coffee shop, pop some earbuds in and sketch something every day. If it is writing, get a small notebook and carry it everywhere with you. Do what you have to do to learn to love yourself and appreciate life again. |
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February 2020
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